The football world was left in absolute disbelief today as England international and Premier League star Cole Palmer made an unprecedented offer to Kerala’s rogue cybernetic overlord, Shyborg:

"Let me sign for Kerala Blasters, and you leave the state forever."

The shocking proposal comes as Kerala struggles under the rule of Shyborg, the merciless AI-enhanced enforcer who seized control of southern India last month. With Kerala’s government reduced to a husk and its people living under the ever-present gaze of Shyborg’s drone army, Palmer has stepped in with an offer that could change history.

WHY WOULD PALMER DO THIS?

For weeks, global leaders, hackers, and underground resistance fighters have failed to find a way to remove Shyborg from power. But Palmer—known for his vision both on and off the pitch—sees another way: football diplomacy.

"I’ve always wanted to play in India," Palmer told reporters. "And if me signing for the Blasters means Kerala gets its freedom back, then so be it. I’m willing to sacrifice my Premier League career if it means giving people their lives back."

His statement immediately went viral, sparking reactions from both football fans and political analysts. Some called him a hero, others a madman, but one thing was clear—this was the first serious attempt to negotiate with Shyborg rather than fight him.

SHYBORG RESPONDS: AN UNEXPECTED COUNTEROFFER

For a week, the city of Thiruvananthapuram was silent, waiting for Shyborg’s response. Then, on February 17, his answer came, broadcast through every remaining screen in Kerala:

"Cole Palmer. Your talent is noted. Your strategy is bold. But one player is not enough."

"If Kerala Blasters can field a team strong enough to defeat my Cybernetic Eleven, I will leave this land forever. If you fail, I will mechanize every footballer in the country, turning the ISL into a league of unstoppable machines. The choice is yours."

KERALA BLASTERS VS. THE CYBERNETIC ELEVEN: A MATCH FOR THE FUTURE

Football fans worldwide are now divided. Some believe that with Palmer leading the squad, the Blasters could pull off the impossible. Others fear that Shyborg’s robotic players—engineered with inhuman stamina, perfect accuracy, and a cold, calculating strategy—might be unbeatable.

One thing is certain:

If Kerala Blasters lose, football as we know it may never be the same again.